01 :: UNO

There's a parasite in my paradise
You're a trollope, I'm a troglodyte
You got crazy smile, you got creepy eye
Got the hook in my mouth and you hold the line

Don't know what to think or what to believe
So I do my drugs and drink too much, wear my heart on my sleeve
I wanna trust you, but I'll probably just disgust you

Stark raving stuporous, inebriated honesty
Did I let it slip about my childish wish
Now I think it's time to cut through this too thick skin
Now I think it's time to feel the gun beneath the chin

So I'll push you away 'cos I'm bad for your health
I always make it that way, I'm always kicking myself
But I'll never change…

It might be nice to believe that your Christ or anything else gonna save me
Since youth I been told about the state of my soul
Quite frankly, I'm worried, but I'm too fucking lazy
The fact that you think you see something worthwhile in me
leads me to question what I know is true
But you're just a girl and you're young and naïve
And insane and quite prone to delusion

You be the carrot, I'll be the mule
You're the queen of everything that you see
I'm just a fuckin' sucker

02 :: NASHVILLE

The first time I saw you, you flashed me a smile
That made the world around me sing
But I didn't believe you were looking at me
I didn't believe in anything
Couldn't ignore you any longer
Said what's left of my heart had just up and died
But I guess you saw something I had forgotten
So I just plain gave up and let you inside

We said we'd rob a bank and steal a car
And go down to Mexico
But we slept and ate and watched too much t.v.
And never got to go
So we said we'd get a trailer down in Memphis Tennessee
And I was gonna let you make a good man out of me

I promised you that I'd get clean
And I told you that I tried
Quite frankly girl I thought about it
But honestly I lied
I thought you'd always be around
Said I'd make you my wife
But you just got sick and tired of watching me
Wasting what's left of my life

So I'm still in here after all these years
In this smoky bloodshot bar
With some brand new empty bottles
And the same old shitty guitar
Now you're with some other guy
And you're living happily
The good Lord still won't let me die
And I will always be
The one who'll never let me let you
Make a good man out of me

Your words were salvation
Your touch was a cure
Your kiss was a rhapsody
You were the only woman
Who could make a good man out of me

03 :: I WANNA BE YOUR BASTARD

Maybe you'd like me better if I were a drug dealer
Maybe then I'd have something to offer
What if I was shallow, superficial, hollow
I'd charm the pants off you with my mindless chatter

But all I got is your respect
And you think I'm damn nice
But baby, nice don't make your pussy wet

If I were an artist, or some pretentious elitist
That might get your juices flowin'
You think you're pretty fly
But I'm too drunk to care or try
And that's the way my life's always been
And that's the way my life's gonna keep on goin'

And if I treated you like shit
You'd wait for me after work
Then take me home and suck my dick

So I spend more time in titty bars
'Cos if your money's green
She don't care who the fuck you are
And just to feel wanted for one hot fucking minute
Would be worth so much more
Than listening to you and your endless bullshit

Now I see more clearly
After a beer or thirty
That I don't need your validation
The chumps the part I've always played
But if that's the price of getting laid
I can live my life on rock n' roll and drugs and masturbation

So thank you kindly for leaving me the fuck alone
I don't need your bait and switch
And you don't need my bitch and moan about
How I'm so fucking needy
And loving me is worse than being me
And someone like you is someone that I can convince myself
That I don't really need

04 :: CAPO

The truth's hard and cold, now I'm finally alone
And I preach to myself that I chose the right road
It's all I can do not to throw myself back to you
He things that I want mean less than what I know

Now I'm a cripple who's cast down a crutch
I'm the blind man who's peeled back the dark from my eyes
They told me that love would solve all the world's problems
But that was the first in a lifetime of lies

And I've thrown everything to the wailing of the wind
And I'm quite content with the hole that I'm in
And I don't need no woman to manke me complete
'Cos it leads to complacency, dependency and defeat

Elation elusive but delusion all gone
I've counted the hours and the seconds and the minutes
It takes such painstaking restraint not to call you
But I know your life's better now because I'm not in it

So I scream to stop the voices and I drink to forget
Each day I take my place and I go through the motions
The show isn't over and I ain't dead yet
And the rest of my days will be spent drunk and alone

05 :: YOU'RE NOT BREAKIN' MY HEART, YOU'RE JUST BREAKIN' MY BALLS

Staring at my whiskey, I received a revelation
Thought about the times we had, admit how much I Missed them
Who you doin', how's it goin' where the hell you been
And I wondered if I'd ever see your tits and ass again

Staring at the phone, I debated should I dial
Maybe we can still stay friends, hang out once in a while
Maybe we can still hold hands the way we used to do
Then I realized that I was still in love with you…

…for about a minute

So give me that bottle and I'll kill all my sorrow
There's other fish out there, bitch and I'll find one just like you
I'll fuck that girl senseless then I'll throw her away
And I'll tell all my friends she's the one who's insane

And it's not my fault you're still mad at your daddy
And you try to fuck my friends to fulfill your revenge fantasy
But they know your game and everything that you're all about
Big tits, big ass, (big hair) and a big fucking mouth

And I tell myself the joke's on you when I'm in my shallow grave
But it don't make no difference cos you tried to kill me anyway
It's sick to think I'd rather be with you than being lonely
Cos I'm the one who's still a drunk and you still shake your tits for money

So give me that bottle and I'll kill all my sorrow
There's other fish out there, bitch and I'll find one just like you
I'll fuck that girl senseless then I'll throw her away
And I'll tell all my friends she's the one who's insane
…I thought about you today

06 :: MISS WEST PHILLY

Why don't you squat the center of the earth
So the world can revolve around you
The reigning queen of the vulgar elite
And the slums that surround you

Holding court at the fleabit café
Your pitbull's healthy, but you got Hepatitis C
Resplendent in squalor, crusty glamourous
Little miss priss is livin' ghetto fabulous

Miss West Philly, U.S.A.
Miss West Philly, U.S.A.
You don't do shit but you got plenty to say
Why don't you shut your fuckin' hole
And get the fuck away from me

You were punk before punk was punk
Down at Stalag 13 nodding off on junk
Talking about how you saw F.O.D.
When you were 6 years old in 1983

Down at Derailer you hold your weekly feast
Malt liquor 40's, dumpster vegan cuisine
You got arrested at the R.N.C. rally
But Grandma's trust fund sure came in handy, eh?

Miss West Philly, U.S.A.
Miss West Philly, U.S.A.
You don't do shit but you got plenty to say
Why don't you shut your fuckin' hole
And get the fuck away from me
Miss West Philly, U.S.A.
Miss West Philly, U.S.A.
No rent and no bills to pay
Flappin' your lip about nothing every fucking day

07 :: OPEN LETTER TO THE NEXT BIG THING

No matter how many times
You pat my back or shake my hand
Nothing's gonna make me wanna be your friend
And you can kiss my ass until you turn blue in the face
But I still don't give a shit about your band

The same song and arrhythmic dance
Lowest common denominator rock
Scores you a million fans
You'd be a hit if you just had the chance
You'd hypnotize the kids
And then you'd make 'em dance

But what do I know?
I'm just the guy behind the board
Some washed up musician-type
Embittered and ignored
Don't wanna sign your mailing list
Don't wanna buy a copy of your disk
You can take my email address
And shove it up your ass

You're breaking into the industry
You're looking like a fucking chump to me
You signed on with a management company
So any money that you make
Will get promptly snatched away

So keep plugging away for your big break
Proper marketing is all it takes
Don't worry about the notes on the staff lines
It's all three chords and dollar signs
The future's looking awful bright
'Cos you're a tortured sensitive artistic type
So don't forget why we got into this
Twenty-eight foot tour buses and bitches, man!

08 :: AS FAST AS YOU CAN

It's time I was leaving the road has been calling me
I'm sick of this town and this same old routine
Got a new destination where I can breathe free again
There's places and faces that I've never seen

All the time that I been wasting feels like slow suffocation
The games I been playing have come to no fruition
There's a world out there that's unaware of all my transgressions
I gotta go now cos the hourglass is draining

The roots I have grown can be cut and transplanted
Where the air is clear and I can chop the rot from my branches
It's warm and safe here, but I need some changes
I might crash and burn but I'll take my chances

An old man will tell you he's wasted his youth
But a young man's too headstrong to accept it as truth
Til the hairs on his head have grown wispy and grey
And a life full of promise has been pissed away

It's time I stopped dreaming of a world that will come to me
I know if I stay just how plain life will be
I got a new regimen to save me from stagnation
I gotta go now or I'll never be free

'Cos the time that I been wasting feels like slow suffocation
The games I been playing have come to no fruition
There's a world out there that's unaware of all my transgressions
I gotta go now cos the hourglass is draining

09 :: CALIFORNIA

You're an actor, you're an artist
You're a rockstar gone unnoticed
And it's just a matter of time and patience
Til you get your due and you get famous

But for now you're waiting tables
Doing sound or tending bar
And it's just a temporary thing
Until they find out just how great you are
So keep acting like your shit don't stink
Keep practicing for your big break
Your full of talent, full of beauty
Hey! You're something special, baby

You're the finest, you're the greatest
Top the charts on your own A-list
And it's just a matter of time and patience
Til you get your due and you get famous

Like a bullet train out of the sticks
You burned a path out to L.A.
Now you're kissing ass and sucking dicks
For your fifteen minutes of fame
So shoot more smack and snort cocaine
You gotta live the life out here in L.A.
You're full of talent, full of beauty
HEY!

10 :: SLEEPER

I'm cold and I'm tired and I feel like Hell
I got a bad liver and a crack in my skull
And I don't make too many new friends
And the old ones say that I'm too damn negative
But that's just a symptom
Of the life that I live

So I make my way back home with a bottle full of grief
It feels so fucking cold but I can drink myself to sleep

It's all I can do some days just to get of bed
When the sun hits my eyes I want a bullet in my head
'Cos when I walk into the street
I can't stand anything I see
So give me a bottle or a lobotomy

So I go to bed angry and I wake up the same way
Since I was five years old but some things never fucking change

Fuck you to all those old friends
For your lack of faith and your excess of condescension
It's obvious that you don't understand
So you should go, just leave me be
It's obvious that you can't see
This is just the kind of man I am

Leave me with my bottle, let me anesthetize
I can see more clearly through these bloodshot eyes
It's easy to point the finger, it's easy to place the blame
It's easier to drink away the pain…

11 :: 13 DAYS

It seemed the woman of my dreams was waiting in my bar
She tried to make me see that there was more to me
Than whiskey and guitar

And I started thinking who needs drinking
I was getting sick and tired of the life that I was living
Of my own volition, I would change my condition
It felt like the first time in my life
That I was winning

For all of 13 days, you couldn't peel the smile off my face
It felt like way too much way too soon
But I was not afraid

And like all hell I tried to push it out of my mind
I was just a substitute for another guy
And I even gave up on getting high
And I felt like I was winning
For the first time in my life

But all good things must end
Turns out she just wanted another friend
But I don't mind the change the change of events
Because I'm drinking again

I can't be resentful, I can't be hateful
What would that change
Now my heart's back on the mend
Even though she's trying to fuck my friend
'Cos I found true love again
with Whiskey and Cocaine

12 :: HEY WHITEY

Have I told you lately just how much I hate you
How I wanted you dead since I first laid eyes on you
Insane and incensed by the thought of your presence
And I can no longer ignore the voice in my head

Now I got a hankerin' to do me some stabbin'
Leave you gasping for air while I'm watching and laughing
I got a need to see you lie bleeding
And then cut your corpse into a thousand little pieces

I've got to stop the drone of your incessant monotone
From the face that makes me shake with pure hate in my bones
Maybe cutting you up would cut you out of my life
'Cos I'm all out of patience and I got me a knife

And I got a hankerin' to do me some stabbin'
Leave you gasping for air while I'm watching and laughing
I got a need to see you lie bleeding
And then cut your corpse into a thousand little pieces

I've been dreaming of doing you in for so long
That I don't care if I get away or get caught
I wanna watch you die slowly, watch you writhing in pain
And then paint the walls of your house with your guts and your brains

Have I told you lately that I fucking hate you
I wanna cut you and gut you, strangulate and violate you
Wanna skin you alive and then wrap you in razor wire
Douse you in gas and then set you on fire
And I dare you to doubt me and say that I'm kidding
'Cos I'm a man made of hate and I got a loathing for the living
My anger is righteous and I speak the truth
And motherfucker, your punk cracker ass is gonna die by me soon

13 :: SOUTH STREET SHOOTING SPREE

Time at last to take out the trash
A pile of straws has broken my back
Nazi scum and trust fund punks,
South Jersey white boy wannabe thugs
Amateur drunks and professional tourists
Squatters and junkies and cocaine whores
Nothing is sacred so no one is safe
You can run, but you can't hide from my hate

Drama queens and stuck up scenesters
Would- be rockstars, crackheads and thieves
Hippies and riot grrls, squares and freaks
Jonesers and posers and indie rock geeks
And I'm locked in my box at work all the tie
While the dog and pony show rages outside
It's been too much for too long to ignore you
And I think I got the best thing for yo' ass

So take my advice and stay off of South Street
Where all the phonies and the lost souls meet
No longer the great place that it used to be
But that's gonna change real soon thanks tome
'Cos I got my rooftop all picked out
gonna call all my friends, say don't leave the house
I'm street cleaning with a bullet
And I think I got one with your name on it

14 :: GRAY HAIR BLUES

Woke up drowning in my own disgrace
I got myself blind last night
'Cos there's a world outside I can't face
And it's full of friends who view me as a means to an end
I thought I fought the fight that was right
But I was wrong again

And I've been wasting my time
Pissing away the best years of my life
No one's fault but mine

And I don't know when I made the switch
From a mediocre life into a meaningless existence
Emptiness has raised its ugly head
Where there was once a wealth of promise
But these are the wages of arrogance and selfishness

And I've been wasting my time
Pissing away the best years of my life
No one's fault but mine

If I ever had a chance or a choice to change
I doubt that I would take it
A bullet or a wedding ring
Either way a cold embrace

Maybe I'll start today
Kick that whiskey and cocaine
I believe that I'll be okay
And maybe I'll start kicking ass and taking names again
If I don't sleep too late

15 :: WHISKEY AND COCAINE

It's been three weeks since a good night's sleep
I'm pissing fire and I'm feeling mean
And I fucked some sweet young thing last night but
I don't recall her name…

Whiskey and cocaine

I got a job and I work six days
Don't work real hard, but I work real late
And cash in hand is a dangerous way
For me to get paid…

Whiskey and cocaine

I had a friend, played in my band
My partner in crime, my right hand man
But he hocked off all his gear
Took a plane out to L.A….

Whiskey and cocaine

There's been a few times that I been in love
But affection just ain't as consistent as drugs
And sex can make you crazy
But I know what keeps me sane…

Whiskey and cocaine

So when I wake up in the early evening
My money's gone and my nose is bleeding
I curse this God- forsaken world
But I know just who to blame…

It's my own damn fault I'm a slave to compulsion
But one of these days I'll quit drinkin' and snortin'
And I'm sure that on that glorious day, I'll get hit by a train
So I guess until that day, I'm gonna have to stay
With my dear sweet whiskey and cocaine