Bitchslicer :: Interviewed by "as of yet untitled upcoming zine" (July 2006)

For those not familiar with BITCHSLICER, how about a quick history?
King Gary :: Bitchslicer is the product of to many nights at home alone, drunk, watching horror movies and porn.
Shifty Shane :: Well, we started out as the band "Jesus is lord," but that didn't work out too well. Christian rock is going out of style fast so we figured we'd better make a drastic change.

Bitchslicer has a unique sound among most modern bands. How did that sound come into being?
King Gary :: In the beginning (way back in the year 2001) all we wanted to do was Thrash, listen to our Kreator cassettes, drink cheap malt liquor, and play NES Ice Hockey. Things that the other metal bands have been neglecting for the last 15 years.
Shifty Shane :: Lemme tell ya somethin' there sonny, I'm no fool. I know by "unique" you mean fuckin' amazingly awesome. And that just came naturally. No effort was put forth to achieve such a great sound, we're just fucking gods.

What are Bitchslicer's gigs usually like? Have you ever played any high profile gigs?
King Gary :: Our recent shows have mainly been the Drummer and I playing the songs and Thrashing out, while our bass player spits blood, breaks his bass, & stick hotdogs in his ass ... anything to avoid actually having to play. We haven't really played any "high profile" shows as of yet, but we have been invited to play on some bigger upcoming shows. A lot of the time that stuff doesn't always pan out in the end, but we have our fingers crossed.
Shifty Shane :: Well, usually they consist of sitting in a small room with about 9 or 10 hot chicks climbing all over my body and yearning for my peg to be thrust into them. And Gary and rich will be in the one corner playing music or something I think. I don't really pay attention.

Do you guys produce your own music? How about the art?
King Gary :: We have our own recording studio, so we do everything ourselves. Our friend MO (www.momoussa.com) does all the artwork. I will give him some ideas of what I want and then he just goes crazy with it. Like I will say how about a picture of a pretty lady and then he gives me a she-male murder orgy. Another time I asked for a picture of a cute puppy and then I end up with a Werewolf sucking Skeletor's dick. MO is a twisted dude. We actually had to go back and we-write songs to fit in with the "new and improved" artwork for allot of these albums. But somehow it all works out in the end.
Shifty Shane :: The only thing I produce is fucking gallons of sexy machismo. I guess you could consider that art too.

As your concepts you have the essentials; sex, drugs, gore and all that good stuff. Do you ever have any trouble with labels or getting shows due to that? Any controversy surrounding the art and lyrics?
King Gary :: No controversy. I think if anything it makes us stand out a little more and that helps us to get shows. It has also helped to us to get our music in porn and independent horror films. However there are bands that have declined to work with Worldeater Records because of Bitchslicer also being on the label. I am sure that those bands sleep better at night pretending that they made a difference. Recently I started a HATEMAIL section on our website. I post the e-mails I get from people who are offended by what we are doing, that stuff is pretty funny. Maybe I just look at it the wrong way but I am curious as to what goes through a person's head when they decide to write Bitchslicer a nasty e-mail. What could possibly be gained from this ???
Shifty Shane :: Well, I was once reprimanded by a female officer to put some clothes on while playing and that was instantly stamped out when she realized how attractive I am and began to blow me. Other than that, no controversy at all.

What does the future hold for Bitchslicer?
King Gary :: Bitchslicer :: IV - Sex with Sharks, some acoustic stuff, and hopefully more involvement with the adult film industry.
Shifty Shane :: Nothing. I have no future. I guess there will be lots of sex with copious chicks, but that's about it.

Any last words or shout outs?
King Gary :: Thanks for the interview !!! Check out the band Rabid www.myspace.com/rabid666
Shifty Shane :: Ball sack. Asshole wrinkles. Hairy scrotum. Meaty vulva.

www.Bitchslicer.com
www.myspace.com/bitchslicer666

- Fetalxnecropsy (???)